True Story of Natural Grandeur
Aug. 19th, 2008 | 10:31 am

As I was riding along the lake this morning on my way into work, I saw an enormous Great Blue Heron launch itself from a rock across the surface of the water. Blue herons are stunningly beautiful birds, and we're fortunate to have a lot of them living in or near the park near our house (along with hawks and bald eagles and all sorts of other wildlife you might not expect to find in the middle of a major metropolitan area).
This particular heron was the biggest I'd ever seen. It's wingspan was easily six feet, and probably more. It was also the most intensely-blue I'd ever seen in a bird of this type, going past the typical dusty blue-gray into deep indigo. I pulled over and stopped so I could watch it fly, and several joggers also stopped their morning perambulations to gape, slack-jawed, at this extraordinary bird.
It arced out over the water, and then slowly flew back toward shore, where it began to gain altitude. I could see the detail of individual feathers on the undersides of its wings as it banked and passed me to fly over the strip of parkland toward its hidden nest, wherever that might be.
At which point, it let loose a gigantic explosive shite, which landed squarely on the hindquarters of a dog being walked by its oblivious owner.
I LOL'd.